Life is movement and change, search and discovery.
Traveling, dimly aware of direction and goals, but unsure where we’re really going.
Are we searching for the perfect world outside of us, or simply going home?
Not to a childhood home, but a place that lives and grows deep within us.
A home distant from our everyday lives, yet more familiar and satisfying than any we remember.
There are voices within us, waiting to be heard.
Listen in the stillness and begin the journey.
Extract a brief moment from your day, fill it with an ache to discover, and stir with … Read more
It’s a clear summer night, with a soft breeze, and the full moon reflects off the water.
I look again.
The moon is wrong.
It’s too big, and there are no familiar constellations in the sky.
This is not my world.
Am I caught in a dream?
My bare feet rest on the cool, delicious sand, and the sound of the waves fills my ears.
The ocean is near, but I can’t see the gentle waves that greet me.
One moment my vision is clear, and the next moment, the world is covered in fog.… Read more
I awake and remember the dangerous shadows that clouded the full moon.
The crystal, the blood, and the light.
My eyes are slow to open, and I wonder what world I’ll see.
In a moment I adjust to the light, and find myself still surrounded with the new world and its dream.
Slowly, I sit up.
I’m in a red, egg-shaped room, with windows that rise from floor to ceiling.
A beautiful dark wood surrounds the windows on four sides, forming a frame a few inches wide.
Curved windows face the deck, and the small shadows tell me … Read more
The Traveler and the Sea
I sit in the indigo room, a place for sleeping and dreaming.
Shazira brings me a learning dome, and explains how to use it.
The dome is flexible and clear, and feels like silicon rubber.
I close my eyes and fit the learning dome over the top of my head.
My scalp tingles as the Watchtower’s computer feeds sensory input to my brain, and creates the learning room.
I see and feel myself standing on a blue stone circle on the top of a hill overlooking the ocean.
The circle is surrounded by a … Read more
I feel safe in the Dreaming Room, and spend most of my time here.
I sleep too much, even during the day.
Shazira says I’m still healing.
It may be true, but I feel I’m hiding from the rest of the Watchtower and the world beyond it.
This room is a private space for Shazira and me, the guardians of the Watchtower.
The room opens only for us, our daughter, and our guests.
I chased after my daughter yesterday to meet her, and found her with her mother.
Tzina smiled at me, but I was sent away, … Read more
Waiting for the Storm
I wake early today, before first sun, and walk onto the deck.
The ocean calms me, and I forget myself as I watch the waves far below.
Another clear day.
Unusual weather for this time of year, the season of violent lightstorms.
I find myself strangely disappointed with the clear weather.
A storm would fit better with the way I feel inside.
Shazira and I sleep in the same room, but most of the time, I still avoid her.
I’m a ghost, caught between worlds, haunted by the dead and the living.
My old life … Read more
A voice pulls me out of sleep.
“Wake up, Yagrin.”
“It’s almost time for the greeting.”
The world feels thick and dull as I try to rise.
Why am I so tired?
I’m alone a few minutes later when I finally get out of bed, but I hear Shazira and Tzina on the deck.
I remember holding Tzina, after the attack, as she went to sleep.
That was late afternoon.
I change into fresh clothes and wash up.
Then I join my family on the deck, by the railing, facing west, where the sun rises.
The sun … Read more
Shazira leads me to the green room.
When I come here, I feel like I’m standing in a forest.
There are plants in all of the rooms, but this room feels alive.
The air is sweeter than the rest of the Watchtower.
People meet here to share words and food and laughter.
It’s a kitchen, cafe, and public meeting place.
From outside, the room is the same size as the other five rooms.
Within, the green room has three floors, and each floor is double the size of any of the other rooms.
To the Jiku who … Read more
Late in the evening, the Watchtower is quiet, and I come out of hiding.
Most of the visitors are gone now.
A few stay overnight, sleeping on soft mats in the white and violet rooms, but it’s easy enough to avoid them.
So many of the people I meet are filled with hatred and fear of me.
I can’t bear it.
Something is broken in me, and I can’t face anyone except Shazira or Tzina.
Emotions scream at me, circle within me, over and over, larger and larger.
I have to escape to another room to quiet this … Read more